you know you're fucked when things you used to love and enjoy doing turn into chores

hardly did any of the work i said i will
got to caught up in daydreaming about scenarios i would probably never experience

i did everything i planned to do today and i feel very proud of myself.
at the same time that didn't get rid of my negative thoughts still playing in the back of my mind

my mood has been fluctuating like crazy for the last few days

mh neg 

i feel like i have to do 1000 things and i ended up doing nothing, that my friends hate me and that i look gross.
i have to go out tommorow but i don't think i'll be able to.

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mh neg/social media 

needed one revive of my instagram to realize how trash that site is and how much i hate it. i deleted it again, but the damage is already done and my day is ruined.
i really hate how egocentric people there are, even the ones i consider my good friends.

it was pretty nice today. basically it made me really happy how everyone used correct pronouns and was genuinely nice. it was good to see all of my friends again and the professors we have this year are extremely chill. off to a good start here

tommorow i start with last year of high school. i don't have much expectations other than surviving it.
now i'll try and get some sleep. goodnight!


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