Talked to my GP recently about my depression. He asked about my 'plan'. I've had the same 'plan' for years. It's well rehearsed in my mind.
it does not involve medicattion,
He knows that
Psychiatrust knows that
It's written down
GP decides to slash my meds to weekly scripts.;
Why? I have no idea.
Talk honestly to GP? Never again.
Back at my friend's place supporting her. Brings into sharp contrast how many people she has around that care about her, talk to her, recognise her and hug her compared to my bereavement experience and current life.
Not going to get down about it now, not here, but when I get home I'll feel it.
#bpd people - a question.
Do you have a need, a real deep down need, to be loved?
Not just wanted, or liked, but loved.
I know most people want to be loved but I mean a need that is integral to your being.
If you do, how do you cope when there is no-one to love you?
I was asked why I can't cry properly - the full-on actual CRYING thing following the loss of my wife - I actually thought about it.
I don't have anyone who I feel I can totally 'let go' in front of. Not just on a trust level but an emotional / closeness / intimate level.
Emotions will out though and that's why I turn it back on myself.
I would love to have someone I felt that connected to but it isn't going to happen.
Adding a semicolon tattoo to the growing collection tomorrow. Right ring finger location.
I'm thinking bright orange or bright purple.
"We have these big myths of addiction and sobriety, that getting clean is always a brand new start, that it's all it takes. Sometimes all it does it let you have clear-eyed view of how badly you fucked everything up and how there's nowhere else to go."
Needed to start moving.
Did not want to.
The White Panda - Bambooyah - played loud
Cat brought a tiny creature in, dropped it. Much furniture moved to try and rescue it but cat got it first. One tiny dead creature.
5 mins later...
Cat brings another tiny creature in, drops it, starts to chase it.
I caught cat, shut him upstairs. Moved even more furniture and caught the furrball. Released it close to the fence outside. Yay!
I've left all the furniture out of place - much dust to be cleaned tomorrow.
Be the change you want to see .....
Starting a #mentalhealth #discord is easy - a few clicks. But maintaining it will be hard.
It would need to have the right tone and be moderated to keep that.
It would need rules about what cannot be discussed / shown.
But it would need to be welcoming and safe for us - people with mental health issues.
I'd like to start one but I can't do this on my own.
Interested in helping? Or if you want to take the lead I'm happy to join.
"A darkness carried in the heart cannot be cured by moving the body from one place to another."
A Piece of Strange
I'm okay. Not perfect. Just okay.
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