Things you don't like, find insulting or disrespectful, things which are hurtful or when someone has a perception of a situation that is different to your own... These are things I've seen described as such and that's not it. This is not gaslighting.
Gaslighting is to deliberately, maliciously misrepresent reality.
Having lasting psychological problems from not having a fixed grasp on reality growing up, because of gaslighting, it's hard not to be annoyed by it.
Had a lazy weekend other than taking youngest lad to the barber yesterday so we could both get shorn (and grab a Greggs sausage roll on the way home).
Eldest has gone back to uni for a couple of days, to sort out the details of him deferring his course for a year. This is spiking my anxiety somewhat, though I know he is safe and going to be okay.
I think a quiet evening is in order. 🤔
I haven't tooted here for ages. Various reasons: Sorting out Hardware / Software problems, hardly writing or recordings anything for months.
I've decided to start doing #voiceovers again after quitting the game (and it *is* a game) a few years ago.
If you need a free read of an excerpt from your script for whatever - anything from gaming, novel narration to erotica, PM me a short sample and I will record a free demo for you.
I have a soft RP accent and my voice has been described as warm.
Nobody likes being bored, but what happens when we 'unpack" boredom ?
Boredom appears as a feeling. We give the feeling a label ("Boredom")
It's an unwanted feeling, so we usually try to do something to get rid of it - as we do with most unwanted feelings.
Close your eyes, and drop the label "boredom". It might help to visualise the word framed on a wall.
Then feel the remaining feeling and sit with it as best you can. Witho
me: i wonder what would happen if i trained the neural net gpt-2 on christmas carols?
No decorations up yet. Ordered gifts yesterday, most of which are arriving today. This is the latest we've ever left it, but we're all tired and burnt out and need self-care. So it's okay. I think we'll spend the weekend catching up on chores and doing all the things a little at a time.
Kind of bummed I won't make it to see New Model Army in Nottingham tonight but I suspect I wouldn't enjoy the gig even if I did get there safely, I'm just too tired. 😴
Went to bed before 8pm because my brain needed it. Weird dreams and it's 5.45am now but I feel better for it. At least able to disconnect from the last week's events and no cognitive impairment now (which I never get, hence me knowing I needed rest).
A day off today so I'll do some chores, cook and continue to rest. Back into the breach tomorrow!
I'm fucking exhausted. Life is pretty much a rollercoaster of intense, high pressure stuff at the moment. I felt close to breaking for the first time today, but expressed that to a few people and that was good.
I'm managing. It's like putting down a new floor (weird analogy I used with @Jo earlier). I'm applying practices that help, but it's hard, focused, very linear and tiring. I can see myself making progress but it's an application of learned skill to do so.
BPD+psychosis, asking for advice
So... I used to call what my BPD does to my grip on reality 'pseudopsychosis,' but I've come to realise that this label was something I used to deny the reality of what it does and minimise it. There's two main things I'm looking for:
1) are antipsychotics worth trying, or are they too destructive and dangerous?
2) what resources are there for BPD's brand of psychosis? I see a lot about the neurosis side (splitting+imprinting etc) but not much about psychosis.
Dev. AppSec/InfoSec guy. Writer. Hubs. Dad. Punk of Many Colours. Mental Health First Aider & Advocate. Middle-aged Northern Brit. Sweary. Simplifying life.
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