Andy 🐺 @andy@mentalhealth.social

My #introduction toot!

I'm Andy and I'm the admin of mentalhealth.social.

My interests are covered in my profile. On #mentalhealth I've briefly known the Black Dog in the past and work hard to keep him on a leash. My wife lives with #BPD bundled with #anxiety and #depression (though has a grip on all of them) and her illnesses are one of the things that drive me to be so passionate about #MH support and care. Which is why I set up this Masto instance; a safe place to socialise and chat. 👍

Yeah, not great today. I think hypervigilance on Friday has burned my serotonin + lack of sleep has contributed. Focus and motivation is low. I'll plod on until tomorrow.

Today will be a day of self-care and self-love I think. Nightmares again so I've spent the last 90 minutes listening to rain, waves and other relaxing white noise; and today I'll focus on me and doing things that I feel will benefit me positively. 👍

Crushing on Ninet Tayeb's voice a lot at the moment. Just the voice. Yes. Honest. 😜😍

Well, I managed a little #RPG lifepath writing this morning at least. I might work to make this a little less criminal and just more street-focused. We'll see.

This morning I am mostly...putting 90 GB of SQL databases into high-availability DR replication.

And #writing whilst watching progress bars.

I just, finally, watched the video to Steven Wilson's "Routine" to the end. It's a happy ending to one of the most beautiful, intense, emotional pieces of art prog rock I've heard. (TW: death, tragedy, loss if you look the song up).

Doing my best to manage some pretty intense anger today. So far sort of coping, but now would be a good time for my IAPT referral to come through. 🙂

Somewhat meditatively sitting in a cool, dim bedroom, listening to Steven Wilson and writing, This is what summer evenings should be like.

Speed-installing a new instance and setting up a SQL Server AlwaysOn BAG for a client at 6am was a dumb idea. I mean, at least now I know the server needs more resources provisioning...

I read some interesting psychology in "The Happiness Hypothesis" today. Whilst not defending right-wing Conservatism, it explains why a society with an excess of freedom (e.g. no rules, everyone free to express themselves however they want with no repercussion) leads to an unhealthy society.

People need boundaries/rules to give them something to strive for or push against. Absolute freedom negatively affects a population/community, even resulting in an increase in depression and suicide rates.

I slept well and dreamt actively and lucidly. I've endeavoured to avoid exposure to conflict (the news, reading the global timeline here, etc.) and am focusing well on my breathing so far this morning. A coffee + vanilla natural yoghurt and sliced banana for breakfast. This needs to become a routine way for me to begin the day. #MentalHealth #Health

I should work on the garden today or at least, spray down the weeds on the drive. But I'm feeling very person-averse and tired and really don't want to get into a protracted discussion with people about how I'm doing it all wrong (despite me spending two years studying undergraduate Plant Science and kinda knowing a bit about the subject).

So I'm doing housework and writing instead. But I feel a little guilty about it. Which also implies I'm tired (i.e. vulnerabilities). ☹️

Well, Eris has certainly made Her presence felt this evening. What fun. 😂 At least I'm still feeling, well, still; and quite balanced. G'night folks. ❤️

Tooooooo hot again. So I'm going to open all the windows and spend the evening playing Foxhole with youngest.

There. I did it. I preordered GR Breakpoint.

Blue hour on Radio 2 shortly. Just switched over to an awesome live version of "Take Me To Church" (maybe from Glasto just gone?) though. Good warm up. 😎

#AmWriting my #TTRPG

But I've also been up since 5.30am and working since 6.15am so not sure how long I'll last.

And yeah, the RogueLike is on hiatus again.